Hawaii’s Homeless; definitely not Idiots

i liked how Eli Broad put it… “Public education is the key civil rights issue of the 21st century. Our nation’s knowledge-based economy demands that we provide young people from all backgrounds and circumstances with the education and skills necessary to become knowledge workers. If we don’t, we run the risk of creating an even larger gap between the middle class and the poor. This gap threatens our democracy, our society and the economic future of America.
Eli Broad

recently the City & County of Honolulu made it illegal for homeless campers to set up tents and tarps in public parks and beaches around the island. its been the concern of many for the past several years, beginning with the prohibition of homeless on beaches all the way from the west of the island. and while i agree that these people shouldnt be utilizing the resources made available to a hard-working, tax-paying citizen; there should be something else offered to them instead of forcing them to push their carts along to someplace else. Hawaii’s latest prime real estate lots up for grabs by the homeless- the sidewalks!

after the City & County enforced the new law, the homeless campers picked up their belongings, packed it inside their hemi wheeled carts and pushed it not more than a few feet on to the City’s sidewalks. apparently, there’s a loophole that the homeless found where it is not illegal to camp on a sidewalk as long as you are not blocking it. and while legislature is busy writing bills to end Furlough Fridays across the State of Hawaii for all public schools, it’ll be another year before an inclusion will be added to the recent bill being passed-where it’ll be illegal for homeless campers and tents to occupy there as well.  and as the government creates laws and stimulus packages and continues their strife on a democratic and unified government of ultimate CONTROL, the gaps between the classes (poor, middle, rich) are getting larger.

i agree with many when they say “it’s a health hazard and eye-sore for Paradise”. others will say that “those people” promote drugs and illicit activity. however, there are a few lifetime members of Kailua’s homeless community board that have been present roaming the streets and have not been known to frequent “that circle (drug) “. these people truly have no want or need to pick up and move out. and most of them stay clear of residents and mind to themselves. and while i agree that these people shouldnt be utilizing the resources made available to a hard-working, tax-paying citizen (like running showers at local beach spots and toilet paper); there should be something else offered to them instead of forcing them to push their carts along to someplace else. but wait, there is. there are shelters around the islands for many to inhabit while they get back up on there feet.

so who are these people that elect to live in Paradise on “the streets” and refuse help? who are these people that demand to be left alone and allowed to frequent a beach for their restroom and a cardboard for their bed frame? if i could live the life of a homeless person for one day to realize why they insist on finding loopholes in the system rather than picking up and getting public assistance. better yet, why doesnt our lawmakers take this approach? why doesnt a non-profit conduct “research” on the issue? i will say this much… Hawaii’s homeless are definitely not IDIOTS! in fact, some of the most thrifty and resourceful people around.

read the article at: http://www.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/20100424/NEWS01/4240328/Honolulu+homeless+move+tents+onto+sidewalks+in+legal+loophole

a consideration

“if you dont have any respect for yourself, then you wont demand respect from anyone else.”

a friend of mine shared this with me today. as she always has something profound and intellectual to say, i couldnt help ponder on this chronicle for a minute or two. throughout childhood, parents usually teach us morals and values through the activities of church going, social gatherings, etc. organized sports help an individual pick up self discipline, determination, coordination, and character. the lessons of determining the difference between right and wrong are proven through sibiling disputes or spiffs at the local playgrounds or social studies/history lessons. and then respect being something you learn to acquire for a person, thing, place, or idea through various life events. some examples: such as dating, friendships made or broken, and even situations like receiving your first parking or speeding ticket.

www.dictionary.com has several meanings for respect. one being: having a sense of worth or excellence of a person. another definition is referring to a “privileged position” or “something considered to have certain rights or privileges”.

while reviewing dictionary.com ‘s definitions, one of the key words that popped out at me was “a consideration”. and as i reflect back on the situation which provoked this highly intellectual chronicle out of my friend’s butt, i couldnt help but determine that this person doesnt have any respect for himself so why would another grant him respect if he doesn’t feel “privileged” enough to receive or demand it.

i am entitled to the same respect that is given to the president of the united states, osama bin laden, or rosa parks. and if i am not capable of receiving this privilege or do not have a sense of worth or excellence for myself then why would a complete stranger, relative, co-worker, or lover feel obligated to respect me?

i’m grateful to God, my parents, family and friends for instilling this important quality in me while i was young. it has helped with relationships, employment, and most importantly with LOVE. without being able to respect or respect myself, ultimately i wouldn’t be able to appreciate or love the people within my life and more importantly-MYSELF. with that being said, if i do not have any consideration for my personal emotions and being, then i am not capable of loving and you cannot love another until you’ve learned to love/respect yourself.

firefighters…oh heck ya

today was tough. it was the first day back to school at NCTI in Las Vegas, NV. it was especially tough when we had to introduce ourselves to the other members of the class and share a little bit about ourselves to a partner. of course, none of the guys had it rough, mostly because they are not very expressive of their emotions as women are. allow me to break it down for you. our EMT-Intermediate class consists of 4 firefighters, 3 EMT Basics who are currently employed with an ambulance company in Nevada and the rest of us students are recent EMT Basics who graduated a month ago; 3 of those being the ONLY females in the class. so out of 15 students, 3 of us are gals! beautiful and vibrant girlies in UNIFORM! i have only one concern: the safety and well-being of the 4 firefighters!

so if we weren’t reading from the book or listening to our instructor’s lectures, and in between the pottie breaks and lunch break, us gals were sizing up the firemen. when i returned from lunch i soon realized that i needed to buckle down and actually listen to the lectures because i was constantly being distracted by  six-packs and defined semi-automatic guns on their arms and forearms. i’ll reiterate it again for those who missed it earlier: “i have one concern-their safety.

after school i was driving home on the 95 and revisited the events for today. this is how it occurred: good morning, protocols, code of conduct, paperwork, uniforms, introductions, hello hot fireman, lunch, hello hot fireman, lectures, chapters 1, 7, and 8 and goodbye fireman.

meanwhile, i’ve been following the story below on Honolulu Advertiser. i think its the most pathetic accident that could have been avoided. read for yourself…  Tonga ferry captain says he was pressured to sail

Hillary Clinton gives her boy a pat on the back

well great job, Bill Clinton, for a job well done. Clinton seemed to persuade North Korea’s (NK) Leader, Kim Jong II, to release the two reporters who were being imprisoned for peeking over the fences down at the border between North and South Korea. Honolulu Advertiser reported that their releases were ordered on Wednesday by the NK Leader during a private meeting between the two. Clinton extended his sincerest gratitude on behalf of his part and President Obama’s.

the Advertiser also showed a picture of the two high-profile gentlemen sitting side-by-side surrounded by other officers and diplomats of the NK government, including NK’s Nuclear Negotiator. the Advertiser also included in the article saying that the nuclear negotiator also made a special appearance on the tarmac to greet Clinton’s arrival and walk him off the plane. in Samoa, some of the villagers will greet the tourists and other travelers on the tarmac with leis, flowers, gifts, etc and then they would direct them to a local hotel or areas of interest. these villagers are just villagers. they have no interest in nuclear substances or materials. they dont negotiate for Samoa and they really just would like to display a sort of “Talofa” to the visitors arriving. here’s what i’m asking myself, or President Obama, why would a Nuclear Negotiator be greeting a former president from the US? excuse me, President? i’m raising my hand…can i answer that question? thank you! i think its because Kim Jong II has a hidden agenda with Clinton to ease the reigns on “ship inspections” from middle-east who are quietly funding Kim Jong’s nuclear missile testing and shipping nuclear material.

of course, the New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson would have done an ecstatic job for President Obama in the release of the women just as he did back in 1990 when other Americans were being detained there but i think Clinton has more negotiating powers and can offer more leniancy towards NK on behalf of the current President. i also think Clinton can cut more “deals” and give away better ”buy-one, get-one” offers. i think Clinton, too, has a hidden agenda on his plate…or maybe Hillary. after the talks, the NK leader invited Clinton over for a dinner gathering. a NK news station reported that Clinton expressed a solemn face while Kim Jong II was smiling into the evening.

so all is well that ends well. the two women who were being jailed for peeping over the fences and accused of espionage are released. one good thing goes down in Clinton’s book with the American people and the government and President Obama delivers leniancy on NK’s imports and exports. [oops did i say that]. thats all that matters, right? as long as they are home safe?

however, if i see any missiles popping up over hawaii because a “deal” has gone bad or any US ships headed for NK carrying nuclear material or any NK nuclear negotiators being offered amnesty after we catch them in illegal acts…because Kim Jong II is expecting a scratch on his back, i will have to raise an eyebrow at the Obama and Clinton tag team. i enjoy hearing the great enforcement that Obama and the UN has been putting on NK but it shouldn’t be putting our country at risk for the release of two journalists who couldn’t “keep it on the down low”.

if you’d like to read the Advertiser’s full article, click here. and because i ate my wheaties this morning, i’m leaving a comic of what i thought the photo of Clinton and Kim Jong II reminded me of.

on the left, Kim Jong II sits and has a few with former President Clinton

TVC’s good times come to an end

my summer break from EMT college began with an awesome start. first, my mom and daughter arrived to join me for a drive down to Disneyland and a flight back to Honolulu, Hawaii after graduating from EMT Basic classes. i couldn’t believe i passed. I give ALL the GLORY to GOD. divine intervention-that’s exactly what it was! the plane trip back was interesting. i never really experienced turbulence until that flight back. Hawaiian Airlines handled the crew and plane very professionally and efficiently. mahalo Hawaiian Air!

after we returned, i enjoyed a nice long nap for about 12 hours with my daughter and indulged in my first plate of local food from my mom’s very own kitchen. the last local delicacy was over a couple of months ago. and i love her grilled opa and herbs! i keep telling her she needs to open a restaurant.

the first weekend since being back finished off with birthday celebrations for my daughter who turned 6 years old and a surprise bday for her at a friend’s house while watching the UFC fights. some big liners were going head to head that night-GSP, Frank Mir, Brock Lesnar (my fave) and Thiago. i rooted for GSP because he’s my husband and i need to support my spouse. haha. GSP, of course, won! the pics below are of my best friend, Angeleca, who made a delicious meatless nacho dip and shrimp cocktail for me because she knows i’m a pescatarian. thanks G. love ya. my daughter enjoyed herself and her close friends in the pool while the adults enjoyed the fights. thanks G and Lee for helping with her party. i guess we’ll let brayden date her when they get older. i guess. haha. jk.

the following week continued with sharing more meals and catching up with more friends and ohana. i was invited to a camp with close friends where we drank over good times and memories. we also played great games of truth and dare and laughed our hearts out until early morning.  i had the opportunity to play tourist again with my sisters, niece, and daughter and only recently visited the beach since i’ve returned. i’ve included the beach photos for your viewing.

so i’ll be returning to Vegas this Sunday. i’m not looking forward to it except for the new classes i’m signed up for and more Rugby practices and games. the team is supposedly headed to Flagstaff this weekend. i wish the gals the best.  i’ll keep you all updated. love ya.

Angeleca and me at the UFC fights/Faith’s bday party.

me and my handsome husband! haha.

Midnight 7s Tournament in Las Vegas!

This past weekend was crazy! It was filled with balls, players, rucks, and scrum downs. While it all began Friday evening, with the setting up of the field, the Las Vegas Slots Women Rugby Club has been prepping mentally, physically, and emotionally for this event since April of this year.

Thursday evening practice concluded with a full game of 7s against our own players. Coach split the team into two and we played 7 on 7. The goal of practice that evening was to achieve greatest capacity of communication both offensively and defensively, moving the ball around, and commitment to tackles. The team felt good afterwards and we all made plans to meet at Sam Boyd Soccer Complex in Las Vegas to help set up the fields and goal posts for the tournament.

Friday came. All of us girls antsy to get the fields started and completed, waited for the officials to arrive and tell us how they’d like it set up. The UNLV boys rugby was there to assist along with Las Vegas’ Championship team Black Jacks. Over the next four hours we managed to set up three rugby fields with the appropriate lines, meter marks, try lines, and goal posts. Night was beginning to fall, we all had some sort of white paint from the lines all over us, everyone begun feeling the strain of being in the sun all day, and hunger was setting in. As the next hour passed, the men’s team began closing up and heading out. Two more fields still needed to get done and those fields were not even started yet. So, the Las Vegas Slots completed the rest of the fields over the next two hours with little help. We all said good night and made plans to meet for the tournament at 3pm the following day.

“Saturday is a good day, because it’s a Rugby Day”. Midnight 7s Tournament is a series of the USA 7s Rugby Association Championships held every year in February. The series is a challenge of the best, brightest and toughest of many rugby clubs, leagues, and  teams from all over the United States, including both men and women. When I started learning the sport of rugby back home in Hawaii over 2 years ago, I never thought it involved this level and severity of athleticism. The teams from the states are playing at a higher level and with a set of completely different rules and legalities. The tournaments and games up here are a lot safer and more regulated than those held back in Hawaii. These games up here are also more fair based on who’s regulating the games. This was going to be my first “official” tournament and “regulated” game between many highly competitive teams from different corners of the continents. I was excited to be stepping on the same field as those that are considered “rugby heroes”, let alone players. These men and women have played locally, nationally, and even some playing at an international level. I woke up Saturday morning telling myself that today was going to be an experience. Like the day of a born again Christian getting baptised, this was going to be in my scrapbook (if I decided to ever make one).

The Las Vegas Slots Rugby Club met at a spot under a beautiful tree next to the trailer with the registered teams and game times on it. We wanted to be the first to know who we were going to challenge and take on. Our captains registered our team and picked up our Midnight 7s Tournament shirts. Which may I add, were worn proudly by every girl on our team. One of the veterans busted out the famous and long-time member of the team, the Slots Accordion, while explaining that every try made by our team is acknowledged by the playing of the accordion. It has been a tradition for over several years. After registration, we found out our first game was against the St. Louis Sabers and the second game against New Mexico’s team, the Chile’s. During warm-ups we were approached by a reporter for the Las Vegas Review Journal and interviewed our team captains all while acknowledging the history of the Slots. A friend of our coach came to prep us with game techniques and warm-up drills in between his job of reviewing the referees that were going to be regulating the day’s games. Then it was game time.

St. Louis Sabers team wasn’t tough at all. We handled their ball movement and defense quite well. The referee was not calling some plays that ended up being detrimental to the outcome and we ended up losing. Our coach’s friend had to agree with us. The next game was against the Chile’s. There were a few great ball handlers on their team but it wasn’t enough for our great offense and defensive line. We ended up leaving that game with a score of 24-0 and reported our win. The last game was against Canada’s Angels. These girls are crazy! They flew down with parents and team supporters with a posse of more than 20 people, let alone their own team of maybe 20 girls. They came to registration dressed up as Angels with orange tights. During game time, we knew we had them, but with the tights on and a few quick hard blows to some of our key players, we couldn’t match up to their speed. We ended up losing that game, it came close, but it wasn’t enough. The tournament was a double-elimination tournament, therefore we found ourselves sitting, watching, and drinking to other team’s victories, including the many by our very own Black Jacks.

Over all, the tournament was definitely an experience. There was free water and Budweiser for all players. There was an awesome BBQ cuisine being cooked up fresh by the Slot’s own prop, Siva. She’s Tongan and has the best marination for BBQ chicken. I was told that and could smell it. I am vegetarian, so I was not able to confirm it for myself but with selling out of plates twice, I’m sure it was the best. Siva also sold Keke, which is a Samoan and Tongan dessert donut without the crazy added sugar and all. Other things on the menu was fruit kabobs (which were awesome) and green salad. There was another vendor there selling Stak Gear. It seemed as though it was owned by a bunch of Samoans. I didn’t care too much for the designs and it seemed more of an urban culture clothing company rather than a rugby culture clothing company, which probably would have fit a lot better at this tournament. We enjoyed their support, though. The referees were okay and the administration that set up this tournament could have been a little more organized and sensitive to the outside teams who flew in for this.

There was a men’s club from England, also called The Queens, who sat next to us under the tree. A few of the guys approached me while eating my Keke and asked if I was Fijian. I almost blew a gasket because I was laughing so hard. I had to point out a woman who walked by with crazy kinky hair to him and explained that the Fijian women look a lot closer to that than I do. He apologized and complimented my hair and accent. The rest of his team thought he was trying to “pick me up” and I assured him that my Samoan boyfriend at home was waiting for me. I spent a few more minutes talking to those guys and complimenting their pink jerseys and then headed back to my teammates. Oh and this English team came to registration dressed up as Queens…and not like the royalty queens either, the other type.

Before we knew it, Saturday flew into Sunday morning and the Semi-finals were just finishing. We all knew it was semi-finals when the crazy Canadian girl’s team stripped down and ran across the field doing cart wheels whenever their men’s team scored a try. Las Vegas’ Black Jacks were still in it strong. I was speaking with a few of them and they seemed very exhausted and tired. Their spirits seemed to enlighten doing the strip show from the Canadians. I must say that these men must have played close to 10 games to get to that point and yes, the games are only 14 minutes long, but it does get strenuous after a while and these men were hungry.

During the games, the Slots team tried cleaning up as much as possible, picking up liter such as beer bottles, cans, cups, food, wrappers, etc that were left behind from the spectators. Some of the team left due to other plans and exhaustion. A few of them stayed behind to witness the final championships for themselves.

All in all, it was a fantastic experience. I encourage rugby players and enthusiasts to try and witness a tournament at that level for themselves. Its a bunch of excitement, a ton of different cultures, and just a great time through and through. Thank you to USA 7s Rugby Association that sponsored and advertised the event. Please continue your efforts of awareness and education of this sport through out the United States and please get out to Hawaii some day. Mahalo nui loa! Now back to my studies. PS. The Slots team will be in San Diego next weekend for a tournament.

racial confusion

whew! today, class was tough. after the well anticipated mid-term exam and given scores, everyone took a break for lunch. me, being strapped on a budget, had left-over vegetarian garlic fried-rice for lunch from the night prior. it was ono! “ono” means delicious in hawaiian. which brings me to the topic of my blog for today. hawaiian words being interpreted as racial slang.

after lunch break, class resumed with lectures for the remaining of the day. the instructor and well, most of the class, is of some white or caucasian ethnicity, if not the majority. the occupation has always been dominated by caucasian males. i am just giving you the scene scenario here.

i am not justifying myself for the word that i used while addressing a concern of another student in class, but i will offer my “interpretation” of the word, considering i am of native hawaiian ancestry and have been a resident of hawaii for my entire life. i used the word “haole” and i used it in a sentence to some degree of saying “because that is how the haole’s say it, not us hawaiians. shortly after i had made that comment, another individual referred to me as Beth, the wife of Dog Chapman, from the tv reality show, The Dog: Bounty Hunter because i said it in a racial way. in quote, “you remind me of Beth Chapman because of the way she would have said it”. heck NO! hello? isn’t Beth of white-colored skin? why would she be using the term if it’s meant to be racial? and sorry but the way that the Chapman’s use those hawaiian slang words is inappropriate and just outright, dumb.

i dont know about any of the other locals in hawaii nor am i speaking on any other person’s behalf, but when i was referred to as Beth from The Dog, my heart sank and my blood pressure began to rise. i do not have anything against the woman and i find her to be a very outspoken and independent gal. power to you sista! however, there are a few things that i would not say or wear on national television while pursuing crack heads (methamphetamine addicts) and felons. so being compared to her was devastating for me.

shortly after, hawaii and our native language was being scrutinized. the entire class got onto this subject that the word “haole” is a racial term and shouldn’t be used. one student even confronted a roommate of his (via text on his phone), that happens to be hawaiian, and she confirmed its a racial word. i almost wanted to get her address and debate her and also to see if she was anymore hawaiian than i was. 

so, i being hawaiian, felt that i needed to define the term correctly and explain why someone would feel as that this is so. i began by introducing the old (but not out-dated) method of greeting another native hawaiian in the islands. the indigenous people of hawaii would greet other polynesians with the “ha”, or breath. our foreheads and nose would meet with the other’s and we would breath in the other’s “mana” or spirit. this was an tradition and custom that polynesia used up til even today. if an individual was to visit a lo’i, or taro patch, or another village and was confronted by another native, he or she would be greeted with the “ha” as i was when i volunteered to clean a lo’i some months back. a lot of cultural practitioners use this throughout the islands today. again, its custom.

eventually as the settlers and missionaries began exploring the islands, they encountered polynesia and its indigenous people. due to their lack of knowledge of hawaii’s people and our “culture”, they were not accustomed to our way of greeting another individual. therefore, hawaiians commonly referred to missionaries as “haole” or a name given for “foreigner” because they did not know of this “ha” that the hawaiians used to greet one another with. other kupuna’s will say that the hawaiians referred foreigners to haole because of their skin being pale- and that hawaiians felt the settlers lacked the ”mana” or spirit that the hawaiians were consumed of or having “no breath” as us hawaiians did. still not referring to skin color in racial terms but due to spiritual and cultural reasons.

and so, i can understand why another student or individual would consider the word “haole” as a racial slang word but i must say that if they understood the origin of the word and the tradition and customs behind it, they would also understand that it was never meant to be interpreted as a racial remark but rather a description of ones spirit or “mana” not being present or a foreign custom that was never learned appropriately. this would be commonly referred to as being naive. the hawaiian word for naive is “punihei”.

TVC gets EXPLICIT with her emergency medicine studies…

i will admit for this post and this post alone, that i have a weird obsession for sex. its mild and NO, i am not a pedophile. i promise. i’m a full-time mother and divorcee who tries to get my groove on once every so often. maybe bc i have been deprived of it for awhile or maybe its because there’s a lot of things that can be related to it within our daily routines. for example, a fruit bowl consisting of bananas and kiwis or apples. [i prefer kiwis and bananas]. or how about setting up a volleyball net, they consider the latch an “outey” and the “inney” is the opening for the latch to be inserted in which you propel the net into the air. i happen to appreciate this one the most: “how to insert USB cables and where?” IT techs will commonly refer computers, VCRs, TVs ports on these machines as “the woman” and the cable is “the man”. there’s also the cucumber…tomatoes…etc. you get the point already, right?

therefore, i began to think of my own concoction during a lecture today. believe me, it wasn’t that hard either. especially sitting in a lecture for several hours, flipping through pages of emergency medical training class, and day dreaming about New Moon’s Robert Patterson as Edward Cullen. highlighting important terms and jotting notes here and there.

in class we learned that the MECHANISM of INJURY of an injured patient is comprised of 3 factors: 1) amount of force applied to the body, 2) length of time force was applied, 3) and the areas it is involved in. i explained to a fellow classmate that its similar to SEX…and a woman’s orgasm….amount of force, areas involved and the length of time the force was applied. instead of it being considered a Mechanism of Injury, now rather a Mechanism on how to achieve an awesome ORGASM!

associated with a mechanism of injury are the following terms: blunt trauma and penetrating trauma. need i say more? i’ll allow you to create a concoction of your own and blog about it. trust me, it’s fun!

skype for kids…is it necessary at 5 years old?

so my ex decided to set up my daughter with a skype account today. he told me he thought he was doing a “good” thing. well, a “good” thing is when you give $5 to a homeless guy or how about when you donate a bag of rice to the american red cross. a “good” thing is not when you want to provide every ounce of opportunity and access to a venue that is saturated with pornography and pedophiles everywhere. hmmm that sounds similar to, say, throwing a child into a lion’s den at the petting zoo. mostly because the child has no idea what the lion’s intentions are, nor does the child know how to protect themselves against them or what to do when confronted with them.

if i were to put it back in laymen terms, because he might be reading this blog and he might not understand the metaphor that i just provided in the previous paragraph, i would have to use this example: allowing access to skype, yahoo messenger, and other web accounts like that allows the child the opportunity to explore how far the boundary is spread. let me explain. a child will observe that mom leaves for work in the morning and returns from work in the early evening. the child has just learned that he/she has pretty much all day to do whatever they please until the last few moments that mom returns. they can choose to roam the internet, watch any television channels/movies as they please, help themselves to the refrigerator, etc. there are no boundaries until the mother has returned. if there are boundaries at all, the child will see how far they can get on the internet or what programs they can get away with watching on the television. i know because i was once a kid myself and took matters into my own hands when i was bored out of my mind with little supervision.

so after the heated phone conversation with the ex, we hung up and i continued to recap on the current situation at hand. some questions that crossed my mind were: how could he possibly think this is okay, what type of individual has no regards to their child’s well being and safety, how can someone be so naive into the realization that this could happen to your kid? usually producers and executive producer’s of tv shows like america’s most wanted and chris anderson’s dateline series on pedophiles and predators have the intent of showing the public for the simple purpose of creating AWARENESS. they hope that this will educate parents and cause them to be aware of the dangers on the internet and in public.

i’m going to come out and say this because i’ve forgiven this person and have been forgiven of my wrongs. i hope i do not offend anyone when i say this. and it shouldn’t because its complete honesty and it can, frankly put, happen to anyone. the best possible outcome for me bringing this out is so that it doesn’t happen again to another. i was raped when i was a little girl. it began when i was 6, or at least that is how far back i can remember it happening. i have no childhood memories of anything else. if i do, its pretty vague because of the incidences of being raped and fondled. no, it was not my father but it was someone rather close within the family. it devastated me and it continued on for rather a long period of time. the psychological and physical effects it had on me was devastating because it was occurring within my father’s own house and was happening to my little sister as well. i have only learned to deal with it since recently seeing a therapist a few years back and coming to terms with my own responsibilities as a mother and individual myself. i promised that this would never happen to my child(ren) or anyone that came into my crossing, including nieces and nephews, cousins, etc.

i thought maybe i had over-reacted a bit when i was having that heated conversation with my ex over the phone, but then i thought to myself that it was necessary, because both my parents held full-time jobs and the house was rarely supervised by capable adults. boundaries that were in place were not being adhered to because mom and dad were not home. the simple fact that they were in place but with no supervision is what “allowed” the incident to occur. if there were adults and boundaries set, those incidences would have never occurred.

that is why i over-reacted the way i did and i had to further explain myself through a message to my ex later on. i am trying to protect my daughter. she is only 5 years old and it is unnecessary for her to have web accounts and internet access at this young of age, whether or not she is supervised. the point being is that they are only realizing how to use a computer and teachers in school are not showing them how to protect themselves, nor are the parents. i can see being a little more open-minded later on when she approaches her teens. however, my ex has no intent of training her or protecting her by explaining the dangers of the internet and web accounts such as skype nor do i trust his supervision. if she wants to chat with someone via text, instant message or skype, she can use one of our screen names, email accounts, or web accounts.

can i get some feedback from reviewers. thanks.

size really does matter

when jack went up the beanstalk he had an advantage. he was a lot smaller than the fe-fi-fo-fum giant, therefore he could hide in places the giant could not.

yesterday afternoon i cooked vegetarian pasta and green salad for the kids. i didn’t tell them there was no meat inside. i’m hoping they put one and one together to figure it out considering i was eating the same meal as them. i picked them up from school, allowed them to eat, and then let them settle down for the evening. i got involved in my studies again shortly after. twenty minutes into my studies i began to hear the kids getting into each other’s hair and mess. i thought to myself, i have two choices. option a, force them to bed and it will take another hour and half for them to fall asleep OR option b, involve them in an energy exerting activity, then bed, and then they’ll fall asleep shortly after.

considering i’m taking EMT classees and have a real good friend who has received her master’s in psychology, i decided to go with option two. i closed my books and turned off my computer, walked into the room where they were all arguing and said three simple words. these words have such a large impact on a child, it pretty much breaks all walls down and creates a union as strong as japan and the united states. these words will forever be in their minds, “let’s play hide and go seek.”

the kids all yelled “yay!” and uniformly continued in a rather LOUD voice “who’s counting first?” after observing the chaos and high tone voices, i began to second guess my reasoning behind this, “veggie cow, what the heck are you thinking? are you sure you want to do this? you could be studying now…” as i was coming back around to the high tone voices and hands flying everywhere, i shouted “alright, alright. i’ll hide first, since no one else is volunteering.” and as i thought that would have settled things and they can start presuming their locations and positioning, i was completely wrong AGAIN. their voices got louder as a million and one questions came at me again, “well, what are you counting to? what are the rules? who will be counting after?” i continued to think to myself that it would have been much easier to force them into bed and shut the doors behind me, but then that wouldn’t have been fun. would it?

so i lay-ed out the rules, which was not too many. i said, “no hiding outside. no hiding in aunty ki’s room. no hiding in your mom’s room. and the last rule was whoever is found first, MUST be the person to count in the following game.” and as all my reasoning and excuses come back around ten-fold to bite me in the butt, i really didn’t think this would have. especially as hard as it DID. so all the kids played, my niece who is 12, the roommate’s oldest daughter J who is 12 and the two youngest kids Javi and E who are 7 and 8.

so this is why i thought i HAD an advantage. the dog is aggressively attached to both of the oldest kids. he follows both of them all over and he’ll give away at least one of their locations, easily. the two younger kids may not know all the “possible” locations in the house and are afraid of the dark. or so they say because they use that excuse when its time to take the trash out. i also thought that because i’m older and have played this game many more times than they have i would have a lee-way and because i have taken a course in college hide-and-seek 101 for dummies.

so i walk in the mom’s room, which was known as base to begin counting. i counted to thirty and said “ready or not, here i come”. i found the youngest girl, E first. she began to whine because she was the first found and knew that she would be counting next. i found J- the older girl and L, my niece next. the last was the young boy Javi because he was way under the bed hidden by stuffed animals. i immediately told myself, “right TVC you aint gonna be able to do that when it comes your turn because you’re 5 Javi’s put together.”

conclusion of the story, don’t play hide-and-seek with kids who are considered about 1/2 to three times of your size. i found myself hiding in places that i never thought i could fit in before if i hadn’t sucked in my gut, held my breath, tipped-toed, knelt down, stuck myself against walls and held myself in and out of view with my finger tips. i was bending, flexing, and assuming some-what YOGA positions until i was found. here’s the thing, i was usually the next person to count because i was the FIRST person to be found. the only time i was the last person found was when i hid in the bathroom. that was cool, comfortable, and exciting. the only reason they failed to look in there was because it was DARK. the dog didnt help much either as i had hoped. i think my heart was pulsating at 90-100 beats per min rather then the normal 68-70 beats per min. and every time i ended up being the person that had to count i would continue to find the youngest boy-Javi in the BEST spots ever. i was super j. i mean, he could fit in the craziest and funniest and tiny-est places ever. i told myself, “damn, look at the possibilities of being so tiny like that”. bigger is not ALWAYS better. and sorry to say this men, but size DOES matter.